By Lalla Pratami - Selasa, Maret 30, 2010

His name is Kafka.
He's just a common boy with a common thoughts. His height is average for Indonesian. He's white. He's wearing glasses. He loves The Cure and The Smiths so that he listens them thousand times a day. Summary, he's just another boy.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't have story to share.

"Her name is Alice," Kafka started to share, "She has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. She's brown. She loves reading J.D. Salinger--at least I saw her reading Salinger's books more than 10 times."

Sun is up today, it's hot outside. It should be a rainy season. But instead of rain, sun is showing its existence everyday. Kafka lits his cigarette. He said he's hungry.

"I see life is unfair. Life is fucked up. Well, I don't know if another's but mine is. I feel like, God doesn't want to let me have what I want. He just there, watching my steps but still doesn't let me get a better life. I'm on a long road of life. And it ain't a good journey, tell ya. When I'm tired, I see no orange juice on my way. I just see water, a hot one, with no taste. So that means I can't really get my energy back. You know what I mean, right?"

"It started 2 years ago. When I see Alice on the train station. She was a highschooler, a sophomore. She was like an Oasis at the desert. She's green in the yellow. She's an eclipse on the dark night. She's different. She colors my day. I lead my curiousity when I see her. Thing that died since years ago."

"Yes, I was a monotone person. Colorblind. I saw everything's just black or white. I thought we're just living in a greyscale world. My mom died. I didn't get college what I want since JHS. My bestfriend took my girlfriend. Dad got along with girls everynight, sometimes they're sleeping in my room. Brother failed UAN, and he didn't want to re-UAN. He just wanted to live what he want to live. Those made me dying. I feel I had no reason to live gratefully. I feel I didn't wanna know what future brings me into."

"But then Alice came, it feels like 'Hey, you just feel unhappy at most of your lifetime, that makes you're colorblind'. And yeah, since I saw her colorwheels, I see life is rather colorful."

"What you see inside my life? Nothing eh. Nothing to envy. It's plain. It hurts. It's weird, sometimes. It's sick. I know I can't just be complaining, I should be grateful but whatever. I deserve a better life, don't I? I could complain it sometimes, right? I'm a human. And somehow I see people act like they're not human. I hate it."

You still have Alice, don't you?

"Have? Did I say I have her? I don't have her. I told ya I don't have what I want."

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  1. kalo kafka lihat aku, hidupnya jadi berwarna gak ya #eaaaaapa sih , aku suka la! bagus ceritanya :)

  2. hahaha kalo enggak, lihat ulus aja. kan modelnya -,- #lebihapasih

    terima kasih mbak tara :D